Web Only! Reality Check with a Monkey This week's web only article is an interview with Teen.com's Advice Monkey. Teril Smits was lucky enough to score the interview.

Teril: Okay Monkey, how long have you been giving out this advice to teens? Monkey says... Under chapter 61 and section 3406 of the Monkey Handbook, paragraph (b)(2)(vii)(F) provides for a definite MAYBE answer! Teril: You got a handbook? Does it explain what monkeying around really means in there? Monkey says... You won't like the truth, so I'm not telling! Teril: Don't give me that shit you little bastard, are you not telling me because it involves midgets, a can or lard, and three tricycles? Monkey says... Oooo, you're a nasty monkey. I don't like you, go away! Teril: Dude, I'm not going till I get some answers from you. How did you score this job? Monkey says... If you were waiting for this answer a long time, the answer is still downloading to my lips. Teril: Which set of lips would that be? Monkey says... In order for that to happen, you will need to send me a dollar. Teril: You're a dirty monkey you know that? Monkey says... Stop being selfish, it's not all about you! Teril: Confusion is king, right little guy? Okay now for the question I came here for. Advice Monkey, what is the meaning of life? Monkey says... When you wish upon a star, you get don't to friggin' far... Be aggressive, make it happen!<br> Teril: So what you are saying is life is all hard work? Where does the Sluglife fit in? Monkey says... Whew. I just farted. Man, monkey gas is the worst!! What was your question again? Teril: Listen up tough guy, Im not above slapping your little monkey ass up and down this webpage, so tell me, is Sluglife the path to providence? Monkey says... You know, someone else just asked me the same question. I told that loser no. For you, it's yes. Teril: Good for you because I was going slice you up and feed you to fishes. Monkey says... Monkey senses - Impending Doom! Teril: Damn straight, the Slug rolls hard. So, wanna split this joint before I go? Monkey says... Section 1.1441-1(b)(3)(iv) of the Monkey Handbook contains a presumption rule that permits a YES answer! Teril: Dude, you gotta get me a copy of that handbook. Thanks for the interview.